This series of video work relates to the theme of loss. During the year of creating the “Loss Series”, I was myself occupying a highly charged emotional space. In “Loss Series”, the camera is turned on me, using my emotional body as a catalyst for the narrative of the work. The ”Loss Series” experiments with varying techniques for translating emotions and vulnerabilities to video, my own, establishing a connection to the ‘present moment’ in my work.
In order to capture the present moment, my objective was to explore the immediacy of digital video to seize ‘emotional moments’ as I was experiencing them. The digital medium with its portability and real-time capabilities allows the artist/film-maker to become truly responsive to an environment, to a moment. During the development of the “Loss Series”, I kept my computer and camera with me at all times, to document my emotional state, almost as a stream of conscious video diary. With this rigorous concentration on the evolving process of documenting, I hoped to gain a deeper understanding of my own creative process, and aimed to create work from intensely emotional moments. I hoped being comfortable in my creative process would enable a more immediate creative translation of embodied sensations and experiences into images. Each piece is a visual and sonic response to my own trauma; from anger, frustration, sadness, loneliness and fear. These pieces are not meant to be seen consecutively. Each exists on its own.These video pieces are very much focused on process. Some are created in a couple of hours; some are created over a couple of months. All are created in direct response to an emotional situation. Each video is approached very intuitively, much like I would approach a painting, feeding into it, scraping it back, trashing it, and starting again. They are created with a sense of urgency and are quite raw. In some ways I look at them like ‘stream of conscious’ video pieces, capturing moments in time. I look at this body of work I have produced as developmental work that documents a time. Although these pieces are linear, they generally have no beginning or end – they are deliberately incomplete and fragmentary. They explore emotional narratives, hoping to engage the viewer in emotional response. The works wait for the viewer to distinguish a pattern, rather than a pattern of information being imposed upon the viewer.Every video on this reel was created on my laptop. Each was shot with digital video and each video was self funded.I don't Feel OK 2.30 minutes 2002
Transfigure, Australian Centre for Moving Image, Melbourne, AUSTRALIA 2004
St Kilda Film Festival AUSTRALIA 2004
d>art04 Sydney Film Festival Australia 2004
Imperial Beach International Film Festival USA 2004
Digital Projections, The Australian Centre for Moving Image, AUSTRALIA 2003
International programme of »backup.award« Wiemer, Germany 2003
"Single Channel - Perspectives" Electrofringe, Newcastle, AUSTRALIA 2003
BrainMap, public screening, Federation Square Melbourne AUSTRALIA 2003
[Head Space], National Neurosccience Facility, St Vincents Hospital, Melbourne AUSTRALIA 2003
Ivive Le Femmei Girls on Film 1st Anniversary Screenings San Francisco USA 2003
Catodigital Interactiva 01 Contemporary Art Museum Ateneo of Yucatán MEXICO 2003
Single Channel: Collaborating with the Moving Image, Blaffer gallery, the Art Museum of the University of Houston, USA 2003
Single Channel Mezzanine Gallery San Francisco USA 2003
“Video Mundi’ e-motional discharge curated by Jan Schujiren, Chicago Cultural Centre USA European
1st Changmai New Media Arts Festival THAILAND 2003
Media Arts Festival Osnabruk, Germany 2003
VIDEO ZONE – The First International Video Art Biennial Tel Aviv, ISREAL 2002
False Emotions Installation exhibition Munich GERMANY 2002
In reading the diagnostic image, the doctor fragments the body, the patient becomes a specific illness, the dysfunction they suffer. “I Don’t Feel OK” explores fragmentation, attempting to experiment with ‘emotional contagion’.
The video’s purpose was to create a state of flux in the viewer, to create potentially uncomfortable and disturbing responses. The video utilizes my own frustration as the source material of the video, intentionally shooting my body in angst, utilizing my body as a site for the work. While making these edits, my objective was to create fragments, fractures, discarded remnants, debris and disorganization, as if the body and mind were breaking down.
Through the editing process, I experimented with ways to intensify the emotional disturbance of the piece, in order to achieve some sense of emotional contagion in the viewer.